Lone Wolf and Kraut

Picture this: A master-less samurai cabbage, disgraced by false accusations, is forced to wander the road to hell as an assassin for hire, all while pushing his infant cabbage in a baby cart. You my friend are picturing 'LONE WOLF and KRAUT'!

Or maybe you're not, how the hell would I know? I'm a kraut maker not a mind reader!

Butcher Baker Sauerkraut Maker

If the first thing that comes to mind when you think about spicy sauerkraut is a 1982 exploitation horror film about an incestuous aunt and a homophobic detective linked together by the murder investigation of a TV repair man, then 'Butcher, Baker, Sauerkraut Maker' is the perfect kraut for you!

I also have the perfect therapist for you. His name is Steve, and he's done wonders for me!

A Fistful of Sauerkraut

What do you get when you take the ingredients of a Moscow Mule and mix it into a sauerkraut....A FISTFUL OF SAUERKRAUT!

You were expecting 'From Russia With Kraut', weren't you? 

Krautraiser

The idea for this sauerkraut was simple: Hot, named after Hellraiser, and featuring a cabbage head with pins sticking out of it on the label. With little room to go in any other direction, those three things combine give you KRAUTRAISER!

He'll regret handling that habanero pepper without gloves when he takes his contacts out before bed.

2000 Lemons: A Kraut Odyssey

I added lemon to sauerkraut, which is a pretty big deal. Then I named that lemon kraut after Stanley Kubrick's 1968 masterpiece, and things got epic!

Or weird, because the movie has nothing to do with lemons.........or does it? No, no it doesn't.

The Return of the Living Kimchi

I combined my love of horror movies and my hobby of fermenting to bring you "The Return of the Living Kimchi"!

Then I drew this ridiculous label in PowerPoint and posted it on Facebook. Now that you're up to speed on everything I've done with my life for the past two weeks, lets continue.

Hop Pickles

I fermented cucumbers with fresh hops to bring the world Hop Pickles!

Then I put them into little potato sacks and told them to race! It was a fun afternoon.

Garlic Scape Paste

I got more garlic scapes from my CSA, so I decide to ferment them a little different than the last time and made a fermented garlic scape paste!

It's just like the paste you ate in Art class as a child, but with more garlic flavor!

Fifty Shades of Fresno

Made with an enormous amount of Fresno peppers and named after a movie I've never seen and book I'll never read, I give you my hottest kraut to date: Fifty Shades of Fresno!

Just so we're all clear, the pepper is in place of the tie he's holding in the movie poster....perverts.

The Great Dill Scape

I fermented garlic scapes with dill and named it The Great Dill Scape!

Then I drew this label and wrote a blog about it, and now here we are.

Dr. Strangekraut

Its full name is "Dr. Strangekraut or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Cucumber", and its the latest creation out of the Fridge Top Ferment kitchen!

Is that a cowboy riding a cucumber or are you just happy to see me?

The Hunt For The Red Crocktober

Designed completely by customer request, meet The Hunt For The Red Crocktober!

Pairs well with mustard.

Cashew Cheddar

I made another round of cashew cheese, this time with a cheddar like flavor, which I've creatively named "Cashew Cheddar"!

Later that day the cashew was walking down the street with his friend the peanut, and one of them was assaulted. Ha!

It's A Wonderful Kraut

I'm going to be upfront with you and tell you that it really wasn't a wonderful kraut.

"Zuzu whats the matter with you? Get off of my neck and call the doctor, somethings wrong with your mother!"

Cashew Chevre

I made fermented cashew cheese!

Cashews aren't into selfies.

Cranberry Relish

I fermented Cranberry Relish! It was a quick ferment that only made one jar and I didn't have time to draw a label for it, which makes it feel incomplete.....so here's a drawing of a turkey on a bowling ball!

He hates those pins!

Citizen Kale

It's an incredible movie, and now it's an incredible kraut. Introducing Citizen Kale!

I drew Kane's face by using the line tool in PowerPoint to trace parts of a picture.  My wife told me that was cheating, then I said something gentlemanly back to her.  Long story short I slept on the couch that night.

On The Salsafront

I fermented something you may have never realized could be fermented, and named it after a movie you've probably never seen.  Meet On The Salsafront!

That's what Marlon Brando would look like as a tomato.

Chloe Beans

Meet Chloe Beans, my first collaborative ferment!

My wife said naming a jar of fermented beans after our daughter was "the most romantic thing shes ever heard of", which means at some point I've really lowered the bar on what she considers romantic.  Go me! 

Beet Kvass

I made a batch of beet kvass, which I've appropriately named Beet Kvass.

Alternatively named "We Got The Beet!"